HOUSE The Biggest Fall Porch Decorating Mistake I Ever Made

This is what the front porch looked like right before I decorated it for fall.

Before the pumpkins.

Before the mums.

Just some plants and some lanterns and some urns and a basket full of green stems with a bow and two large topiaries on either side of the door.

I had big falls plans for the front porch. I wanted to mix faux and real fall decor to make it last until Thanksgiving. So I ordered the white pumpkins and ordered some faux purple mums and went to the garden center and found real purple mums and real white pumpkins and mixed them all together.

Next I decided to change out the topiaries for oversized mums in the monogrammed planters.

I placed the mums next to the planters and went to pull out the topiaries.

And then?

To my horror?

This happened.

At first, I almost missed it.

I was concentrating on lifting out the topiary from the center of the planter when all of a sudden, I heard a random sound.

Buzzing.

It grew louder and louder and sounded something like this.

buz. buzz. buzzzzz. BUZZZZZZZZZ.

Right then I SAW THEM. Two hornets buzzing in and around and circling the top of the topiary.

At the sight of those hornets?

Some people might have run.

Some people might have screamed.

Some people might have left those topiaries in place until St. Patrick’s Day showed up again.

I am not some people.

My first thought? “The NERVE of those hornets. Those are my topiaries and you are NOT invited to my front porch.”

I ran into the house and emerged with bug spray and sprayed them and the hornets fell to the ground. “There,” I thought. “That’s the end of it.”

Until.

Until four more hornets showed up. And then 10 more hornets after that. And then another 10 more for good measure.

Yikes.

I realized that THE ENTIRE TOPIARY WAS A GIANT HORNET’S NEST.

At the sight of a giant hornet’s nest, some people might have run.

Some people might have screamed.

Some people might have left those topiaries in place until Fourth of July.

Remember?

I am not some people.

I went to the yard and grabbed the water hose with the power sprayer nozzle in one hand and grabbed the bug spray in the other.

Then I stood waaaaaay back from those topiaries and sprayed and sprayed and sprayed and sprayed.

And sprayed some more.

Until?

Until 30 minutes later—with the wildest, craziest dancing and twisting and spinning and spraying performance on the porch that the neighbors are still talking about—

—I stood dripping wet and victorious.

Sigh.

The conflict was over.

The hornet’s nest was decimated.

I went back inside the house and left those dripping topiaries all by themselves overnight just in case any of the hornets sent out carrier pidgeons to their distant relatives.

The next day dawned without a hornet in sight.

The topiaries are gone now–all packed away until spring returns and in their place are the most beautiful mums and white pumpkins and grapevine pumpkins and the smell of pumpkin spice in the air.

Fall is officially here.

I hope those hornets visit another house in the future.

I hope I never repeat the biggest fall decorating mistake I ever made.

I hope that the mums bloom.

I hope the pumpkins stay fresh.

But most of all?

I hope when I decorate that porch for Christmas….

…it’s insect free.:)